"It was about feeling fulfilled in ways I wasn’t in my relationship."

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"She had slipped back into it. I couldn’t handle it. I went full detective mode and found everything. We broke up, and I was a mess for about a year. 

Looking back, I don’t blame her. It was a rush—it was what we both knew. We started with infidelity, so it was almost inevitable it would end that way. She’s still one of the best people I know. But like any addiction, it’s incredibly hard to shake. I have a girlfriend now, and I won’t cheat on her. The urge is still there, but you learn to recognize it for what it is: a selfish need for validation."

"I had already gotten what I wanted. Looking back, there were probably elements of gaslighting and emotional abuse in there. It turned into a five-year, ego-driven power trip. It was a dark time."

"Eventually, something shifted. I started thinking more logically: “If I already feel like I’m at rock bottom, I might as well at least try to leave.” So I made a plan to get out. 

I avoided meeting him in person and broke up with him over text—which I’m not proud of, but it was the safest option for me. Even though I did cheat, I still don’t support that kind of behavior, and I’m not proud of it. But I’d be lying if I said I felt guilty. My judgment at the time wasn’t great—I was just trying to survive."

"I lied to my husband because I was afraid of hurting him, and because I was so used to lying to get what I wanted. The cheating wasn’t about emotional attachment—it was about the adrenaline. I liked the feeling of being desired by people other than my husband, whom I had been with for seven years. It was easy to give in. It wasn’t that I didn’t love him—I just didn’t make the effort to resist those impulses. 

I love my husband, but I haven’t been a good partner. We even tried an open relationship after he found out, but my habit of lying—even when I wasn’t fully aware of it—and his intrinsic need for monogamy made it impossible to continue. So I stopped."

"I don’t do it often, but I have done it multiple times over the years. Like someone else said, it might feel good in the moment, but the drive home and the days after are rough. You can barely look at yourself in the mirror. At one point, because one of the women I cheated with was completely unstable (that’s a whole other story), my girlfriend found out. 

Being the person she is, she forgave me. After that, I really did try to stop—but after almost two more years, I couldn’t. I love my girlfriend, and I have no intention of leaving her. And I know this probably sounds like an excuse, but I keep telling myself that once she has the surgery and we’re able to have sex, I’ll stop."

"I tried talking to my partner about these issues countless times, hoping to avoid going down that path, but she never listened. If anything, those conversations often made things worse. Still, I cared deeply about her and kept trying to make it work. Eventually, we broke up. After that, I lost control. I started sleeping with women almost out of spite. I wanted her to feel the same kind of hurt I did, so I went after women she knew and many others. 

I caused a lot of damage and hurt a lot of people because of my own anger and selfishness. I regret it every day and wish I could undo it. In the long run, we both got the help we needed and ended up trying again. This time, it’s different. The abuse is gone, we’re both faithful, and we’re in a kind of love I didn’t know was possible. I’m grateful for where we are now—but not for how we got here. And I have absolutely no desire to go back to being that person again."

"I haven’t gone further than that. But I like the rush of trying to make someone like me. It feels terrible to admit that. I know I need to change, but it’s become this guilty pleasure. The thing is, my relationship isn’t broken. It’s actually really good. We’ve had a spark for six years—it fades sometimes, but it never really goes away. We don’t fight much, and things between us are solid. I would never tell her because it would devastate her. I know I need to change because I don’t want to end up like my dad—but I’m also ashamed of how much I enjoy it."

"The next day, I broke up with my girlfriend. I gave her excuses—her cleanliness, other issues—but the real reason was what had happened the night before. About a month later, I tried to get back together with her. I told her everything while we were sitting at a diner. She threw a Coke on me, then called her parents and told them I had cheated, while I was still sitting there with her.

We left the diner separately, and later that night, she asked me to come over. When I got there, she had been drinking and had started hurting herself. The next three months were hell. She drank every night and lashed out at me while we were supposedly trying to fix things. She also slept with someone else during that time.

It still sticks with me—the things I put her through, and what it turned both of us into. I was young and stupid."

“It’s a mutual convenience thing. If you were privy to her pattern of behavior, I have little doubt she’s cheating as well. I spent about 12 seconds being angry when I started putting the pieces together, and then I realized I just didn’t care enough to stay angry. I’ve got a laundry list of things I could bring up if or when she finds out. I honestly don’t care if she does, so it’s become a no-lose situation for me. We’re both adults—she can have her fun if she wants, but I’m going to have mine too.”

"In my mind, that wasn’t cheating. I thought emotional involvement was what counted, and everything else was just lust. But I never communicated that to him. So, in reality, I was acting like I was in an open relationship while he was fully committed and had no idea. The way I rationalized it was that cheating wouldn’t hurt him if he never found out, but breaking up would. 

So I kept going, not really thinking about where it would lead—maybe until I fell for someone else, or until I got involved with someone I actually liked. The guilt was always there, but I convinced myself I was doing the right thing. That’s not true, I was just doing what was easier. I thought I was protecting him, but really, I was avoiding a difficult conversation. Eventually, I did break up with him, but I never told him what had been going on."

"For some reason, I still agreed to 'work on things' with him, even though my heart wasn’t in it. Then I ran into the guy I actually liked at a party. That was the turning point. I ended things for good with my boyfriend and hooked up with the guy I had always wanted. The only thing I really regret is keeping someone around as a placeholder in the first place. I shouldn’t have been with someone just to avoid being alone. And I definitely shouldn’t have strung him along for so long when I never truly had feelings for him, especially when my heart was somewhere else the entire time.

I understand that being lonely sucks, especially when all your friends are having sex and falling in love while you’re stuck crushing on guys who don’t even know you exist. But what I did was still wrong, and there’s no excuse for it.

Now that I’m with someone I truly care about, I value our relationship, and I would never, ever cheat on him."

"Two years later, some friends told me they had seen her with a new 'best friend,' acting a little too close. I asked around, and eventually, I caught her again. This time, I checked her phone, and what I found completely broke me. She had been regularly sleeping with this new guy and admitted they were friends with benefits. I found messages, explicit texts, and photos. 

On top of that, she was still seeing her old “best friend,” and they had even gone on a weekend trip together. I just wanted to understand why. She told me I was “too high-profile” for her—that I was too put-together, too stable, too much of a “perfect” partner. She said I was like a diamond she could never hold onto."

"When we got back, my friend left with someone else, and he walked me to my dorm. When we got there, he made a move, and this time I didn’t stop it. I was high, overwhelmed, and had this thought in my head that I just wouldn’t tell my boyfriend. We hooked up, and then he left. Almost immediately after, it hit me how badly I had messed up. I was still coming down, so I ran into the mountains near my school and lay on the cold ground for hours, hating myself. 

I told my boyfriend the next day. The relationship fell apart because he couldn’t trust me or truly move past it. It was completely my fault. I learned my lesson, and I will never cheat again."

"I was a complete mess, and I’ve accepted that the responsibility lies entirely with me, regardless of the factors involved. It’s not easy to live with, but it’s no less than what I deserve for the hurt and pain I caused."

Text has been edited for length and clarity.