"I knew I was doing the wrong thing when I was offered money to not marry him, and I'd considered taking it."

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Warning: This post contains mentions of abuse.

"I reminded him that the entire wedding and rings had been his decision without any concern for me. I was allergic to gold, but my ring was gold, and he'd gotten it for free from his dad. We were only on honeymoon for two days because of work, and he made it all about him the whole time. The worst part was that his dad came into our kitchen while we were gone and ruined the $400 wedding cake leftovers I'd put in the fridge. It was the only part of the wedding I had any control over. I loved that cake more than my husband. I regret not getting an annulment, but I had nowhere else to live. We divorced after 10 long, horrible years of physical, financial, and narcissistic abuse from him and his father. They now live together."

"If I didn't have such low self-esteem, I would've ran the other way. It only got worse after we got married. Please heed those red flags."

"He used me, cheated on me, and stole from me. Two years was enough, and I divorced him. Still suffered financial impact for years after. DO NOT IGNORE THE RED FLAGS!"

"A year and a half later, we divorced, and I learned to tell people how I really feel."

"I don't regret my marriage; I have two beautiful children, and he was a huge part of my growing up, but I'm glad I finally recognized and acted on the truth."

"Physical and psychological abuse also followed. Three years later, his dad and young wife moved to our area. My spouse seemed happy to have his dad around. Things kept getting stranger. His dad went back to Alaska. I was pregnant at the time. Things just got weirdly out of control. Then, his dad came back after four months and packed everyone up in Texas, and they visited after the baby was born. We stayed with the dad's in-laws, enjoyed their company, and had a miserable drive home. Within four days, he was driving back to Texas to 'work for his dad.' Within a month, I got a call from his dad's wife's family. She was pregnant by her stepson. I filed for divorce. The sheriff had to drag him from our house!"

"He started to grow envious of my career/success and shamed me, calling me materialistic and gaslighting me into thinking that I didn't deserve more than what I had already worked for. He became abusive, and I fell into a really deep depression. At that time, he accused me of cheating and would monitor my every move. I held on because I loved him, but he had become so bitter with the world that I thought he would return. We didn't even make it a year married when my family visited; I hadn't left the bed for days, and the house was a disaster. I hardly noticed that I had let every part of me go in an attempt to keep what I thought our happy marriage should be. He couldn't let me be who I already was when we had solidified our relationship. I held on to a dream, but it wasn't a reality."

"We separated at the end of 2020, and I’m now happier than ever. I just had my first baby in June, and my child's father is my ex-high school sweetheart…the same one that I realized I never stopped loving for all of those years."

"After work, I spent the entire afternoon dreading the evening to come. Went through with it anyway. We didn't make it four years before she cheated."

"Again, I thought this was nerves, and he was stunned by my beautiful dress and the experience. There was no honeymoon, no ring-wearing, and one year in, he began a years-long affair with a coworker. Looking back on that day, everything I misread and explained away haunts me. The worst part? Everyone knew but me that day, and no one said a word. Nothing."

"After my escape, I went to therapy, and a few years later, I met my Prince Charming — the world’s most devoted and supportive husband. We have been together 10 years this summer."

"I should have annulled it. Thirteen years (how apropos) later, I was left with two wonderful children and half my money; she brought NOTHING to the relationship except a car payment and no job."

"It took me six years to get out of the marriage that he only wanted for show."

"We divorced after a year and a half because he kept quitting his jobs and expecting me to pay for everything."

"Surprise, he turned out to be a control freak who never took 'no' for an answer and developed a hobby of calling me a POS for not catering to his every whim. When we got divorced five years later, his own grandmother told me I deserved better."

"I didn’t even spend time with my husband during the reception; I was too busy having fun with everyone else. But the real sign was after everything was over, he was throwing a tantrum because he didn’t want to keep the night going. We had ALL our friends and family in from other states and countries — it wasn’t even late! So, I just sat there watching him rant and rave, and I just kept thinking, 'This isn’t how it should feel.' And I was right."

"Six months later, he comes to me saying we have made a terrible mistake and asking if I'd mind getting pregnant again. I gasped at the callousness of the question. He disregarded all our prior reasons — some having to do with MY health — and the pain I felt knowing I had aborted my last real chance to have a child (my age). We were divorced within the year."

"I was deluding myself for a long time, but I really knew in that moment I shouldn’t have gotten married. We are now divorced, and I realize I never deserved to be treated like that. You should be the only person your partner wants to be with on your wedding day."

"Nothing I did was ever good enough for him. He was always trying to change me. He was a lying, cheating narcissist. He should come with a warning label."

"He had gotten four tattoos of ‘my name’ and even my face. Since our divorce, he’s gotten two other women’s names tattooed on his body. I guess it’s prime real estate."

"I walked away from my wedding alone, holding my daughter in my arms, with loud music blasting. It was all very much a window into the rest of my horrible, isolating, abusive ex-marriage."

"Looking back now, I should have left and booked a flight home. Things never got better. Folks, do NOT ignore the red flags, and trust your gut. I'm about to embark on a hellscape journey with two kids under 3, and although I wouldn't trade my kids for the world, I wish I had never married their dad that day."

"The biggest omen, though, was right before we were set to leave on our honeymoon, we got a call that there was a major explosion at our hotel that killed four people. The hotel was still open, and if we changed or canceled, we would lose a lot of money, so we went and spent 10 days terrified and anxious because no one would tell us what was going on. We also fought because he wanted to go to town and find drugs. He got more and more emotionally abusive as the marriage went on, and I eventually divorced him. I'm out now and with a wonderful man, but looking back, I want to smack my younger self for being so oblivious."

"After I told him how awful this made me feel, my husband didn’t tell her to stop but instead said how sweet it was and how grateful he was to have her in his life. I look back now and realize that he wasn’t prepared to stand up for me both on our wedding day and in the rest of our relationship, and he has always put his toxic friends before me. We ended up splitting toward the end of last year, and I’m better off without him."

"I wanted to make love to my new husband on our wedding night, but he told me no. So many signs before and on the wedding day told me that I should have run away. Heck, even his mother told me not to marry him. When a man’s mother tells you to run, then ladies, please run! Seven years sexless and three kids later, I found out he was cheating. I knew it, but he is an amazing gaslighter and made me think it was just my insecurities. So glad to be done with him, but unfortunately, co-parenting with him has been horrible."

Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.

If you or someone you know is in immediate danger as a result of domestic violence, call 911. For anonymous, confidential help, you can call the 24/7 National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) or chat with an advocate via the website.